Yesterday I had my last day of treatment.  At about 5:15, I walked down the hall of the radiology office towards the elevator.  It was over.   I had overwhelming feelings of “I made it! I survived”; feelings of humility and grace in the presence of God as I felt Him embrace me now, tighter than He ever had before; thankfulness for having more time to be here on Earth, to be a mother to my child and to serve His purpose; coupled with sadness of what I’d had to endure; loss of my life of the past; love for the angels (heavenly and Earthly) that carried me; the fact that I would miss the people that had become an everyday part of my life for nearly a year; unsure of the new, wonderful life I have been blessed with and am about to embark upon; and an overwhelming compassion for the women who would be diagnosed at the very moment I sat celebrating and thanking God for his victory in my life.

Statistics show that this year, one in three women will be diagnosed every day with breast cancer.  I write this blog for you.

I want to say to you that where you are now is a place that others have gone through before you, and we understand.  Yet, although millions have gone through before you, your life and story are unique - your feelings of shock, fear, wondering “why”, wanting to run out of your own body, anger and loss, are all totally normal; let them run their course.  

You have been given devastating news, and it is okay to feel exactly as you are.  As you go along through this experience, the most important thing is to be true to yourself and your feelings.  When I was diagnosed, I too, was overwhelmed with a multitude of emotions, some I didn’t even know how to articulate, and still don’t.  I wondered how I was “supposed” to feel and what I was “supposed” to be doing, but there is no prescription for dealing with the news that you have cancer, especially at such a young age.   All I can say to you is to just be as you are, feel what you feel – that is the best you can do.  Learn to lean on the people that love you, yes, it is okay to do that, and it is okay to cry.  

As you go through surgery, chemotherapy, radiation, whatever your prescribed treatment, know that you will get through it.  And you will do so by putting one foot in front of the other, and moving through every moment, realizing that you are still here, now.  Try not to think of the months or years ahead, but just the moment. Celebrate that now, you are alive, whatever the circumstance.  And, as hard as it might be for you to recognize now, I know, and I hold this wish for you, that soon, you will realize the value in your experience, and know that what you are going through is about less about cancer, and more about living with purpose.  So, as you try to make sense of this craziness, just keep that in the back of your mind – breast cancer may be the worst thing that has ever happened to you, but you are still here…so live!